Respect is never catching anyone out, never pulling at their shortcomings so that they become a target for laughter. It means watching and nurturing strength and it is based on the awareness that everyone has value, because everyone is unique. It rests also on humility, because humility knows that what’s visible in a fool is only a chapter of their whole story.

So respect is keeping you equidistant between strength and weakness. Not advertising strength outright but gently highlighting it by giving it a task. With a child, not saying: you’re such a good painter, but just giving it paper and brushes; with a child, not saying: you’re a hopeless painter, but just giving it paper and a pen instead. Never to ignore weakness for that is disrespect, just to provide a different focus.

Where there is real respect there is the understanding that talents are constantly changing and sometimes it is just a matter of where the light is falling as to what is seen. Where the sun isn’t shining doesn’t indicate a gap; only that something is resting in the shadow. You just never know what’s there, so it’s best not to kill anyone by categorizing them.

Respect is very cooling, because it values space, knows that though love brings the balance, everyone needs time, a pause, a chance to breathe quietly, alone. It stops you going too close too quickly, and it lets people grow in their own time. Respect never urges and only strikes where there’s the strength to withstand.

It is as fruitful to respect things as it is to respect people. To respect things has its origin in respecting the body - with all its strengths and weaknesses. To approach with the same balance- neither selling beauty nor ridiculing ugliness, neither advertising health nor indulging pain. The middle way is like standing in the doorway, touching nothing. It means you can leave easily.

Where there has been disregard for anyone or anything there is hurt. The repercussions are enormous. Where a person has been hurt, the rebound is often obscure and dangerous, hard to identify, because you can’t just say: you’ve hurt me. It’s hard to be direct, so someone walking by suddenly gets hit instead and a whole chain begins. Where a thing has been abused, disrespected, then it causes trouble. It breaks, makes a mess and holds you up. Either way, disrespect takes away freedom and blocks the way.

Where there is respect, it is like forging a straight path through life, so that you can reach a point of stillness and then, looking back, see only light. Nothing pushed into the shadows either to create shortcuts and so no sudden reawakening of old feelings. You’ve walked poised through life, observing the ups and downs with dignity. The result is that the respect you’ve given returns to you - a rebound.